i went over to my folks house first thing on friday morning. they were about to take our dog lucy to the vets. she was almost 15 and arthritis and old age were really getting to her. they discussed it with the vet and decided the best thing was to have aher put down so she didnt suffer. so we were all very upset about that, as i'm sure you can imagine.
then after that it was time for the funeral of my mums friend. By this time it was lashing down with rain, which seemed to make it feel even worse. it was held at Sefton Church, one of those proper big old churches. me, my mum and my dad drove down there and met some of my mums friends outside. then we all went in together and waited for the service to begin.
after what seemed an age the coffin came in. i was feeling ok until i realised that the coffin was being carried by her husband, 2 sons and her daughter lisa, who is only 30ish and i've known her for years. it suddenly struck me how brave she was, and how i could never imagine the pain i'd feel if i had to carry their coffin and bury my mum or dad. tears just started coming and i couldnt stop them, i wasnt sobbing as such but i just couldnt stop crying.
lisa also did a reading during the funeral, one she'd written herself. at that point i'd just managed to compose myself when she made me cry again. the reading was so simple and heartfelt. based on how her mum used to leave the light on outside her door when she was little so she wouldnt get scared of the dark. and how she felt that her mum was still looking out for her, even after she'd died. she was so strong throughout the reading, her voice was shakey but she managed to get through it and i was so proud of her.
the service was really nice, it was carried about by the rector of sefton, who's a woman!! it was lovely, not regimental at all, very personal to jennifer, talking about ehr life with her husband and children and what sort of person she was, from what she'd been told about her. it was a nice tribute to her. there were only 3 or so hymns, but i was too weepy to sing them properly.
after the service we all went to Thornton Crematorium which is just down the road. it was still lashing down with rain, it seemed to add to the emotion of the day. the service in the crematorium was only very short, just a quick blessing before the curtain was closed and the coffin was taken away.
after the service, as is traditional, the family stand near the exit so they can speak to everyone. first in the line was the husband. i dont know him that well but we do know each other. i just didnt know what to say to him so i gave him a big hug when he thanked me for coming. i did the same with the 2 sons as well, i've only met them a handful of times. they all looked destroyed and on the brink of tears, understandably. last in line was lisa, i was lost for ords again. i just told her i was really proud of her being so strong and gave her a big hug.
the whole thing was pretty traumatic for me and everyone else who went but i'm really glad i went. my mum was very grateful for the support and i felt like i'd paid my respects as well to someone who has been a key figure throughout my life.
since friday i've had a fairly quiet time cos i needed it or my head wouldve exploded. on saturday me and lee went to manchester for a couple of hours. it was nice to get out of the city and do something different from the norm. i bought my fake hair for my braids, which i'm getting done on thursday :o)
on saturday night i had planned to go out but i was just not in the mood for a long night out. i know i wouldve been a serious party pooper and wouldnt have been able to enjoy myself at all. me and lee got a couple fo videos out, 28 days later, and orange county. 28 days later was excellent, a great scary film, fast paced and interesting througout. orange county was great really funny but with some serious parts too. jack blank (mr tenacious d) was in it too, and he was great.
on sunday evening i went to see ...secondnature... at the barfly. there wasnt many people i know there, but me, skippy and danny had a good laugh. the boys played really well, there were a few mistakes but nothing too dramatic, and they played excellently overall :o)
this song has been going through my head a lot lately, i love the lyrics:
She - Elvis costello - Written by Charles Aznavour and Herbert Kretzmer
She may be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
Maybe my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day
She may be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a Heaven or a Hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell....
She, who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She maybe the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows in the past
That I remember 'till the day I die
She maybe the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I care for through the rough and ready years
Me, I'll take the laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She...
posted by Pixie @ 2:50 PM
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